i am terrified that twenty years from now i will still look back and feel an ache when i remember the boy who broke my heart all those years ago. and i’ll somehow still miss you. but for you, i’ll probably be just one of the many girls you dated when you were young. you’ll look back and only remember a foggy memory of me; my face, a blurry vision in your mind.
i ask myself “if somehow you knew i were to die tomorrow, would you come knocking at my door? would you regret wasting all this time away from me?” but then i remember that we are closer to death everyday and you’re still not here. so you probably wouldn’t care.
“Heartbreak is a chaotic sadness. When you lose someone whom you’ve been in love with for a very long period, too often, the damage is irreversible. The songs you used to listen to on the radio are now tainted by their memory. The taste of milk in your coffee reminds you of all those morning kisses. The grocery store you get your eggs and vegetables from is simply just a grocery store. Literally, everything is destroyed by a love that was once promised as forever. The ones who are heartbroken and the ones who are unhappy aren’t exactly the same people.”
I thought the most painful feeling was that of the heartache you feel after someone tells you they are done with you. I was wrong. The most painful feeling is knowing you miss someone and knowing they miss you but not knowing how to rebuild a bridge you both burned down.
